Aminet 21/Aminet 21 (1997)(GTI - Schatztruhe)[!][Oct 1997].iso/Aminet/comm/cnet/supertg1.lha/Assorted

Text File | 1997-06-23 | 12KB | 248 lines

!{]  I must be brief, I'm going to explode soon..
!{] When the land cooled, there were many taglines..
"Hey Charlie - is it lunch time yet!" - Nigel Mansell.
"HORSEHOCKEY !"..... Sherman Potter.
"I see", said the blind man to his deaf wife...
"Tell me I won guys. Just tell me I won." - Nigel Mansell..
"This'll never stand up in court." - Peewee Herman..
"We're getting there ... bug by bug   :)" - Ron Janorkar.
"Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of"
&^*$%#@!?>(&anks for hanging up the phone, dear!.
* SLAP! * Wake up, you're dreaming again!.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste..
A great many family trees were started by grafting..
A hungry man is not a free man. - Adlai Stevenson
A lesbian is just another woman trying to do a man's job..
A man is as young as the women he feels!
A man is not complete until he marries. Then he is finished.
A man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
A man with no destination is never lost.
A naked man fears no pickpocket..
A penny saved is an error of the tax man!.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it..
A woman drove me to drink. I never properly thanked her.
A woman, like music, should have a good end.
AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MY Aching head!.
Adamant ignorance beats rational logic every time..
After God created woman, He atoned by creating beer.
Ah, a man after my own tart..
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
All rising to a great place is by a winding stair..
An armed man: citizen.  An unarmed man: subject..
And... she was wearing this sexy freudian slip....
Are you coming quietly or do I need earplugs?.
Are you telling me there's a Donatello virus too?.
Bachelor: A guy who has cheated a woman out of a divorce.
Barfingnewgen: German Car Sickness.
Barfingnugen:  Getting car sick in a Volkswagen..
Be vewy, vewy quiet....I am hunting tagwines!.
Beatings will continue until morale improves..
Beef up your life.... Have a cow, Man!.
Behind every satisfied woman is an exhausted man.
Behind every successful man is woman with nothing to wear.
Believe in the Bible?  Hell, man, I've **seen** one.
Belly button: for salt when eating celery in bed..
Bigamy: one wife too many.  Monogamy: same idea..
Bureau of Natural Disasters - Planning Division..
But it worked in Beta testing!.
Canadians don't take kindly to being mistaken for Yanks!
Captain! Sensors are picking up a line eater!.
Captain! Sensors have detected a TagLine Thief!
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire...
Clink. That was just my $.02 being thrown in....
Committing suicide in Port Alberni is redundant.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Continue the petty bickering... it intrigues me..
Corrupted during download eh?!  ahahhaha.....
CURSES the humans have found me out!.
DANGER! Human at keyboard!.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular..
Did you say MNP means -  Modem Needs Petting!.
Do NOT look into laser with remaining eye!.
Doing nothing is tiring because you can't take a rest..
Don't humans just drive you nuts?
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
Don't take life too seriously, it's not permanent..
Don't waste time responding to your critics..
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"....
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something....
DOUBLESPEAK ALERT! Man the battle stations! DOUBLESPEAK ALERT!
eh <=====learning to speak canadian.
Embarassment is grabbing the wrong buns by mistake!
EMBARASSMENT: Spitting out the car window when it isn't open..
Every abortion stops a beating heart....
Explaining the Unkown by means of the Unobservable!.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so..
Farfignewton: German for "ergonomic cookie."
Feminine of word "manager":  assistant manager..
Fight? We're not having a fight! We're just mad!
Fill out your Income Tax forms using Roman Numerals..
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your taglines!.
General Failure !  Why is he reading my disk?.
German Army Motto:  "Third Time Lucky"
German for bra: Haltsemfromfloppen!.
German for Constipation: 'Farfrompoopin'..
German virgin: Gutentight..
German word for constipation: Nichtkrappen!
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she is a ruler..
God, in creating woman, overestimated his ability
God: What one human uses to persecute another.
Gonads: The Real Man's Tools.
Got arrested going 14400 in a 2400 zone..
Got real close to seeing Elvis, but my shovel broke..
Guts: Putting "Moderator" in your twit filter.....
Guts: Putting the name "SYSOP" in your twit filter..
Hand-me-down clothing -- also known as sharewear..
He told you what it is for?.... amazing...
He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
He's trying to jerk a chain that isn't connected.
Here's To The Man Who Has Loved Wisely...  The Bachelor..
Hey Kelli! Wanna see my PeeWee Herman impression?
His mind is like concrete - mixed up and permanently set!.
Hole drilled in ladies' room wall; police looking into it.
Holy bat, Mackerelman . . . ? ? ?  I mean, . . .
Holy mackarel, Batman! The fish thread is back!
How do you cure a woman of Nymphomania? Marry her!
How many babies can a motherboard have?.
How many licks DOES it take to get to the center?.
How many people get eaten while hand feeding alligators?
How many Windows jokes are there?   None!  It's all true.
How often do these things grow anyway?.
Human Error - It's all ***YOUR*** Fault.
Humans are such easy prey...
I am not young enough to know everything anymore..
I didn't get the documentation for the manuals!
I enjoyed dreaming that up
I love Standards, there are so many of them!
I really like women  -  Every man should own one.
I want a smart woman in a real short skirt.
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I'll drink two of what the man on the floor is having..
I'm not biased, I just don't like certain things..
I'm not bored... I've just got nothing to do!.
I'm NOT making this up, you know!.
If clothes make a man, then what is a nudist?.
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille!.
If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet!.
If you're looking for me, I just left..
If you're trying to drive me crazy, you're too late!.
Insomnia is not worth losing any sleep over..
Instant Human:  Just add coffee.
Is this the "perverse" side of you emerging? <G>...
It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly..
It's a family thing.  It comes and goes..
It's a man's world?   So let him think so.
It's all just so darn frightening sometimes....
It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead
King of all the Holodeck!.
KLEPTOMANIA!  Take something for it!.
Lorena Bobbit in Germany: Choppenderwienerhoffen.
Macho: A man who jogs home from a vasectomy.
Man and mouse alike,  both end up in pussy.
Man has his will,  but woman has her way!
Man the battlestations - someone wants to reason with us!
Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.
Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with brown finger
Man who suck nipples make clean breast of things.
Manuel Labor...The Mexican Bandit
Masturbation: the human version of AUTOEXEC.BAT
Mating Call Of The Mail Duck:  "QWK! QWK! QWK!.
MicroSoft...Making tomorrow's mistakes today!.
Moderators hate ON-topic messages, nothing for them to do..
Mother Nature didn't plan on Human nature..
Moving parts require lubrication..
MS WINDOWS: Something the mouse dragged in..
MS-DOS Multitasking: Crashing both hard-drives at once..
MultiTask- Make twice the mistakes in half the time
Multitask: screw up several things at once!.
Multitasking?  Been doing it for years.. I'm a dad..
My friend.. you suffer from disorganized thinking.
My Hispanic/Chinese houseboy, Manuel Tai'ping does my taglines.
My mistakes are purely erroneous..
Never argue with a man carrying a water-buffalo.
Never Argue With a Mule, Woman or Kelli Williams.
Never eat anything bigger than your head..
Never Judge a man by his TAGLINE!.
Never judge a man by the Taglines he has stolen..
Never make love to a woman who's wearing spurs!
Next time you wave at me, use ALL your fingers!.
No amount of planning will replace dumb luck..
No man ever shot a woman while her mouth was shut..
No such thing as an incorrect tagline, man.
No woman has ever shot a man while he's doing the dishes..
Number One, please remove Wesley from the Bridge..
Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken..
One express elevator to hell ....going down!!.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
One man's signal is another man's noise..
One man's upload is another man's download..
Optimist: MS-DOS salesman with a pager.
Pardon my driving, I'm re-loading..
Poly(many)+tics (blood sucking parasites). Hmm...
Practice safe eating.  Use condiments..
Pro-Child, Pro-Family, Pro-Woman, Pro-Life.
Quit playin' with that thing.
Reality seems to be such a slippery thing..
Reality: an interesting hypothesis..
Sad fact about windows bashing is it's all true..
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull..
Show me a sane man.  I'll cure him for you.
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!.
So Many Toys. So little Money!
Sorry!  I was wiping the tears from my keyboard!.
Spiderman, spiderman! Does whatever a spider can...
Standards are wonderful.  So many to choose from!
Still miss my ex wife, but my aim is getting better..
Stupidity is defined only by the limits of humanity
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!!!.
TAGLINE: A line that does the work of many (lines) !
Take my advice.  I'm not using it..
Take two taglines and call me in the morning..
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand..
Teenage Hell:  A parent who's into BBSing..
The Blonde Sex Manual:  IN - OUT.  Repeat if necessary..
The Borg are coming! Quick! Try and look useless!!.
The LAPD ----- Treats ya like a KING ..........
The manual is kind of unclear on this.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward..
There are many ways to handle women.   I don't know any.
They are crazy these humans..
They aren't called Mickeysoft for nothing !.
They called me a madman!    I'm not mad at anyone!
Thieves demand your money or your life... women want both
This is starting to get boring...
This place is turning devilish and scary!.
This should get interesting. Don't you agree?
This Tagline is especially for kleptomaniacs!
Those who can't write, write manuals..
To err is human, to forgive is... unlikely.
To err is human, to really mess, buy an IBM
To find a legless woman, follow the slime trail...
Too many people confuse free speech with loose talk.
Typical Bill Gates reprimand:  "That code is ORIGINAL!"
Ultimate memory manager; Windows, it manages to use it all..
Want lots of personal messages?   Just make a little mistake.
WARNING!  This Tagline is guarded by a killer dog..
We now return to our scheduled flame-throwing..
Weird but practicing to be eccentric.
What came first: the woman or the credit card..?
What is it like to make a mistake?
What Was The Greatest Thing Before Sliced Bread?.
When a man lies he murders part of the world.
Where does Avon find so many women willing to take orders
Why do so many blonds dye their roots black?
Why experiment on animals? There are many lawyers!.
Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses do something..
Wisdom begins by understanding the depth of one's ignorance..
With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man!
WOMAN.ZIP     Great Program, No Documentation!.
WOMAN.ZIP-Great Program. No docs, but fun to unZIP..
Women are great! Every man should own one!!!!!
WordPervert 6.9: for obscene writing!.
Would a pouting German be called a sour Kraut?
You pick a cold night to visit our planet, Earthman...
You presume far too much, little human.
You start having fun, they send in the lawyers.
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a shirt..
Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms..